Today in church, our Pastor talked about some of the various names for God in the Bible. There are over 400 names in the Bible to describe God but we only talked about 17 of them today. At the end of his message, they dimmed the lights, and we were to choose one of those names that maybe spoke to us this morning and meditate on it and maybe even write a prayer.
I chose the name Yawah Tsidkenu which means The Lord our Righteousness. The Pastor further described this name as meaning justice, declared innocence; not anything we earn but done by God; we give our sin to God, He puts in on Jesus, and He give us righteousness in return .
I chose this name because I have been struggling lately with feeling good enough. I was comparing myself to other Christians, Christians much more mature than I, and deciding for myself that I wasn't measuring up. I thought I needed to do more, sooner, better because I was seeing all these extraordinary things others were doing for Christ and my little share didn't seem to be enough. I was afraid I was doing something wrong. Maybe I wasn't worshipping well enough. Maybe I wasn't praying the right things. Maybe I didn't love people the right way. Were all of these shortcomings keeping me from being called by God for something bigger?
So my prayer this morning was simply this.
Yaweh Tsidkenu, Teach me to trust more deeply instead of trying harder. Sanctify me. Amen
Then I closed my eyes and just listened to the music playing in the background when God gave me the most beautiful vision. I saw my body floating up into the vastness of the universe and a white robe being gently draped down over me. A hand reached down from above me and gently lifted my chin so my eyes came face to face with Jesus, Yaweh Tsidkenu! His light shown on my face and warmed my body.
Jesus had reached down from heaven and touched my soul. I knew I didn't have to try harder to get His attention. He showed me He loved me. He knew me. He was sanctifying me. He was working in me. He was making me new.
He gave me a visual that my perfection does not come from anything I do but it comes from Jesus and the work He did on the cross for me, for you. Righteousness is available to me because I believe. That's all I have to do. Believe and ask for Jesus to be Lord in my life. The more I trust in Him and lay down my life for Him the more I will be able to do for Him. It's a process, a journey.
I will not reach fulfillment or completeness in Him today or tomorrow but I am working toward that end. My little share is enough, for now. As I demonstrate faithfulness, God will call me to do more but it will not be for my glory but for His glory and purpose.
My lesson for today is trust more deeply in the work Yaweh Tsidkenu is doing in you!
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