A Lesson for Parents

1 Samuel 3:13 (NIV)

For I told him that I would judge his family forever because of the sin he knew about; his sons made themselves contemptible, and he failed to restrain them.

In 1 Samuel, Eli had two sons that were doing wrong. They were idolaters and immoral people although they were of a priestly family. The disobeyed God openly and Eli knew about it. According to the law at the time, Eli should have called for their deaths due to their sin but instead he only mildly rebuked them. The rebuke was not strong enough to turn them from their ways and they continued to do as they pleased. Eli became a party to the sin by failing to stop it and God deals harshly with them.

Eli's two sons are killed in battle, many more descendants were massacred at Nob, and the priesthood is later transferred from his family to the family of Zadok by Solomon (The Bible Reader's Companion).

Scary stuff, huh?

Parents are responsible for their children's behavior. We have a God given responsibility to teach them right and wrong. Right and wrong according to God's Word, not the ever-changing value system of the world.

This means, as parents, we need to first know what God's Word says about right and wrong. As situations arise, we need to search the scriptures for what to do or how to handle. It needs to be our moral compass, our guidebook in all things, the truth we hold up against the lies of the world.

We need to be in prayer, asking God to help us discern and navigate all the situations that arise, and to ask for faith, trust, and strength to adhere to biblical principles even when the rest of the world seems to be going a different direction.

I'm concerned that most of my peers would say that if their son or daughter wanted to have sex before marriage, they would advise them to use birth control. If the son or daughter is a minor, they might even take them to the doctor to help them procure birth control.

I've heard comments like "if you are going to do it, at least be smart about it", or "Don't ruin my life or yours by getting pregnant".

This is defeated parenting and does nothing to address to root of the sin.

However, the reason parents go this route is varied but includes: being too busy, succumbing to the pressures of society and it's ever-changing morals, not having a good grasp of God's Word on the matter, not wanting any sort of discomfort for themselves or their child, not wanting to give up a lifestyle or a reputation, or just a plain inability to deny their child anything, even if it's bad for them.

Do we as Christians acknowledge that sex outside of marriage is wrong according to the standard set by God? Do we acknowledge that God's standards are good and pure and meant for our own good, not as a means to limit us, or somehow deny us something good? Do we understand that sin left unchecked is very hazardous to our souls and can be life ending? Not just here but for eternity? Do we realize that when we look the other way, try to eliminate the consequence, or blatantly participate in allowing it to continue we become party to the sin and party to the destruction.

We need to take this seriously, parents! Not just in this scenario but in all things related to our children, to parenting, and to our own self discipline and character. You can apply this to anything.

If underage drinking is illegal, and we are called to obey the laws of the land and the leaders of the land, then it is wrong in God's eyes to permit your child to drink while he/she is underage. It is wrong for you to host an underage drinking party (even if you blindly think you are protecting them by having it in your home instead of somewhere else), and it is wrong to supply the alcohol for them.

We must tow the line ourselves and be a good example to follow. We must expect a higher behavior and character then the rest of society. We must teach God's Word and adhere to it ourselves.

Our children will make mistakes and we can love them through their consequences and continue to teach and hold them accountable without destroying them.

For it is in allowing sin to go unchecked that destroys, not the consequence. We must be willing to allow the consequence in the hopes of saving the soul. It is our duty to allow God to work in their lives. If we lead them to believe God doesn't care what they do, they will never see the need to turn to him for help, for repentance, or for salvation.

I pray we make time to do the necessary things to be the kind of parents God expects us to be. We can start today. We can make a commitment today to begin reading God's Word daily. We can begin praying for God to show us where we are failing or where we need to step it up. We can begin to spend more time with our kids so we can understand where they might be in trouble. We can talk openly with our kids about what God expects.

I am not perfect as a person or as a parent but I know One who is, and I trust in Him to the best of my ability to lead me.