Just a quick note to parents today.
Teach your kids how to be good friends to each other.
My 15 year old daughter is heartbroken this year because her friends don't seem to "be" there for her.
She lost her Grandpa to cancer this September and none of her friends even asked how she was doing, much less send a card, or attend the wake. She makes plans with other kids and they don't show up. They don't call and cancel. They just ditch her.
She is such a loyal friend who would give the shirt off her back to anyone and it just breaks my heart to see her self esteem drop because other parents haven't taught their own kids how to be compassionate and aware of others, how to keep their comittments, and how to be honest.
Too often parents neglect to instill these values in thier children because they are too busy with their own lives, but they also don't seem to lead by example either. We have become too much of a "me" society that we can't see others' needs.
What will the next generation look like if these children continue with this "me" attitude?
Whatever happened to the 'best friends forever, through thick and thin, no matter what, no one will break us apart' mentality? Have our little girls lost this very important bonding skill? I pray not.
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3 comments:
recently, I had to cut off my best friend. She didn't show up to my baby shower after being so excited about my baby, then suddenly after my delivery she wanted to reconnect like nothing happened. call to say she was coming, and didn't show up. Call a different day said she was coming, she didn't show up either. Then two weeks ago, she send me an e-mail saying that she was sorry for her behavior. I miss her but i can't let her treat me that anymore. I told her I forgive her but that I can't trust her anymore. it was hard but what else do i do, you know?
Sandra,
How sad! Your situation seems very similar to my daughter's. She gets her hopes up that her friends are interested in her and then those hopes are shattered when they don't come through.
Sharing the birth of your baby and that joy is something I'm sure you longed to share with your best friend. I'm so sorry your friend missed out on that. Her loss - but it still cuts deep, doesn't it.
I try to tell my daughter that her friends don't know any better because they are not being modeled by their parents and because they don't have the love of Christ in them. We pray for them that they may come to know Christ and that He will help show them how to give love and also how to recieve love. I really believe a person who can't give love can't recieve it either. Isn't that sad? I also tell her that maybe God is allowing this to happen so she is free to meet the kind of friends He has in mind for her. Maybe she wouldn't be open to meeting someone new if she was ok in her current relationships. Since joining our new church (which is large) she has a whole new group of people to choose from.
I'm sure God will lead you to a new best friend to fill those needs that only girlfriends can.
I'll pray for you!
Dawn
Brooker,
Your friend has been taken captive by the world Satan's lies. She is trying desperately to find meaning and purpose but a life outside of God has no meaning and purpose. Satan has many substitutes he tries to pass off as ways to fill the void that was only meant to be filled by God.
If she gets angry it's only because she doesn't know any better. A soft approach is always the best approach in these circumstances. Sincerely, ask her how she is doing? Build a relationship with her one on one. When trust is built up she may come to you seeking your advice, that's when you can gently steer her a different way.
I would say you should not be her party friend but somehow remain in her life. How you live your life yourself can be a great witness to her without having to say anything until the day arrives when she comes to you.
She may not be ready to hear the gospel until she has exhausted all of her other options and has nothing else to try or turn to anymore. Continue to pray for her and lead by example and if God wants to use you to lead her to Him, he'll let you know how to do that.
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